So my friend Faith's baby turns 1 year old today! My friend Shae and I were honored to be asked to be in the room when little Aiden made his appearance. As I realized how close to a year it has been, I asked myself "Why haven't I wrote a blog about that experience yet?" Then I realized its because it has taken me almost a year to get over it! You will notice through reading this that Shae and I assumed two completely different roles during this blessedly horrible life changing amazing torturous event; the motivator and the pushover. I will let you figure out which one of us is which:
Let me set this up for you:
I was ecstatic when Faith told me she was pregnant. I knew how badly they both wanted this child and was so happy their prayer had been answered. Then one day while doing my daily facebook scroll, I saw that she had "liked" a page about natural birth. I thought to myself, surely she hit the wrong button. So at lunch one day I asked "whats up with you liking natural birth facebook pages?" Granted she already has had two kids, one of which I was in the delivery room for and promptly left because I witnessed her slap the BeGeezus out of a poor girl and I knew then and there that I would never give birth if I stayed any longer. So surely she has enough sense to get the drugs right!?! Of course not. Now I will say she is by far the smartest person I know so when she said she had opted to take the natural route, I knew she had thoroughly researched it and knew what she was doing. I still thought she was nuts, but to each their own.
I was teaching my Sunday School Class one Sunday morning when I got "the text" I had been waiting on.... MY WATER JUST BROKE! My immediate response was alright let me teach this class, run home and change and get on the road. Then she said well we are going to wait it out at home as long as we can. So time ticked by, lunch came and went, and I was very impatiently waiting for her to say ok lets head the hospital. Finally around 5 that evening she finally agreed to head on to the hospital. I was sitting on GO! Surely its been this long since her water broke, this should go by quickly right!?! Oh how wrong I was. Shae and I got there at the same time and were so excited to experience this together.
It started out really slow. She pretty much laid in the bed and would have a contraction every once in while but nothing too bad. Shae and I sat on the couch watching "what does the fox say" ding ding ding ding ding ding ding and Justin Timberlakes #hashtag skit from Jimmy Fallon on you tube. DDEEBBBRRRAAAAA We got a huge case of the giggles which I am sure sent Faith into overdrive. Then we hot glued diamonds on some tiaras for Maelyn's Birthday party. This birth party needed to hurry up and kick into gear!
Then the contractions started to get worse. We moved her to this huge yoga ball where she rocked back and forth for a little while. In all honesty, the curiosity in me almost got the better of me and made her get off the ball so that I could get on and play on it too.
We then watched a movie. Yes a whole movie. Surely after watching A WHOLE MOVIE she would have dilated at least a few cm right.... of course not! By this point she was not only in pain, but homegirl was getting PISSED. We had tennis balls for her back, lotion for her feet and legs, anything to help relax her. She was getting the royal treatment of natural births ok. We all took a station and got to rubbing!
We exited the ball and moved her to the recliner after her contractions started to really get bad. We each found a new position and kept on massaging. Any sarcasm and humor she had at this point went out the window. Then stuff got real, real fast. It was time to move to the bed. At this point in time, my friend exited her own body, and this horrid demon came and possessed it. I had one job, keep a damp washcloth on her forehead and hold her hand. This became quite difficult when she started levitating off the bed in hysterics everytime she had a contraction. I eventually started pulling the wash cloth away during the contractions to allow her more freedom to "move."
We were sad when midnight came and we knew we weren't seeing a baby anytime soon.
During this time the nurse came in to check her progress. When she announced that she was still sitting still at 5 cm I thought someone was about to die. I made sure all sharp objects were out of reach and that I was holding her hand so that she couldn't slap someone. I hated seeing her in this kind of pain. I then thought it would be a good idea to have a little pep talk with this baby. I gave him some encouraging but stern words to hurry his rump up before his mom caused someone bodily harm and his favorite aunt had a nervous breakdown. Then suddenly the nurse started bringing in all the equipment. We all looked at each other, very confused because she was still at 5 cm. At this rate we were gonna be here another 48 hours! She checked her again, and AGAIN she was at 5 cm, but she assured us it was about to happen.
The next little bit was a tad blurry. At this point Faith came to her senses induced by her body ripping from the inside out and started pleading, begging, crying out for the epidural claiming she just didn't have it in her to finish naturally. She was exhausted, and the pain was only getting worse. Shae was her biggest cheerleader. She was holding her hand, telling her over and over again, "this is what you wanted, you can do this, you've got this, your doing great!" At this point I have excused myself to go cry in the corner and am working out a crazed induced Nancy Drew kind of plan to somehow get her the drugs. The nurse ever so politely tells her that she has progressed too far to have an epidural and my poor friend comes undone. My heart is breaking for her. I wanted to shout as loud as I could to someone to just give her the blasted epidural, knock her out, anything but watch her suffer like this. Shae remained her rock and her comforter and shot me a look that said suck it up Amanda and get with the program! I became a blubbery mess holding her hand. Her poor husband felt helpless and I think was a tad relieved to have us there to help him. He would kiss her on the forehead and tell her how much he loved her and I was slightly afraid for his life for getting that close to her after what I had already experienced. Her mom stayed at her feet, like a smart woman, giving her an encouraging word and trying to make her laugh.
Suddenly she went from 5 cm to 8cm and instantly started pushing. I looked around and realized, um, there is no doctor in here. Then his little head was out, um....hello there is still no doctor in here!!!! The nurse stepped up like a BOSS! A few good pushes, profanities, and bone curling screams later, he was here. A few minutes later, the doctor walked in and realized there wasn't much left for her to actually do.
The next little bit was a tad blurry. At this point Faith came to her senses induced by her body ripping from the inside out and started pleading, begging, crying out for the epidural claiming she just didn't have it in her to finish naturally. She was exhausted, and the pain was only getting worse. Shae was her biggest cheerleader. She was holding her hand, telling her over and over again, "this is what you wanted, you can do this, you've got this, your doing great!" At this point I have excused myself to go cry in the corner and am working out a crazed induced Nancy Drew kind of plan to somehow get her the drugs. The nurse ever so politely tells her that she has progressed too far to have an epidural and my poor friend comes undone. My heart is breaking for her. I wanted to shout as loud as I could to someone to just give her the blasted epidural, knock her out, anything but watch her suffer like this. Shae remained her rock and her comforter and shot me a look that said suck it up Amanda and get with the program! I became a blubbery mess holding her hand. Her poor husband felt helpless and I think was a tad relieved to have us there to help him. He would kiss her on the forehead and tell her how much he loved her and I was slightly afraid for his life for getting that close to her after what I had already experienced. Her mom stayed at her feet, like a smart woman, giving her an encouraging word and trying to make her laugh.
Suddenly she went from 5 cm to 8cm and instantly started pushing. I looked around and realized, um, there is no doctor in here. Then his little head was out, um....hello there is still no doctor in here!!!! The nurse stepped up like a BOSS! A few good pushes, profanities, and bone curling screams later, he was here. A few minutes later, the doctor walked in and realized there wasn't much left for her to actually do.
After we all oo'd and ahh'd over this precious life that had just caused so much upheaval, I looked at my friend and told her how beyond proud I was of her and how in awe I was that she pushed through that. Her loving response to me was, "I just couldn't figure out why you were taking the wet rag off my head during the contractions when I needed it the most!?!" I didn't bother to tell her then it was hard to chase a head that was spinning like something out of the exorcist!
Happy Birthday baby boy! You are blessed with two parents who love you very much and two Aunts who witnessed what your mother went through for you and have no problem grabbing you by the hair of your head and having an impromptu come to Jesus meeting with you at any given point in your life that you cause her grief!
Notice the time on that clock and do the math in your head.
Happy Birthday baby boy! You are blessed with two parents who love you very much and two Aunts who witnessed what your mother went through for you and have no problem grabbing you by the hair of your head and having an impromptu come to Jesus meeting with you at any given point in your life that you cause her grief!
Love Aunt Man Man and Aunt Shae
Crying tears of laughter over this! Thank you ladies for sharing your experience, and oh what an experience it was! 14 hours of the slowest, easiest, most laid back labor I had ever seen lulled me into a false sense of security. I had this. I was in control. I was prepared. This was easy. Why do all these women choose drugs anyway? The last two hours; I would have shot myself in the face if the equipment had been handy. Oh, THIS is why they chose drugs! Thank heavens it was too late for that and I got to experience every agonizing and empowering aspect of natural exorcism, I mean birth! Look what we accomplished, without help from anyone! (Other than a nurse to catch the precious demon). It was amazing. If I were planning to have any more children, I'd do it exactly the same way! Assuming I could get Amanda to show up! I love you ladies and will cherish this experience and these memories forever. Thank you for standing with me!
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