10 tiny fingers

Ever had one of those days where you were having a very difficult time just being a decent parent? The days where the sound of their breathing alone gets on your nerves. The last two days for some reason I have been struggling to be a decent parent. I sent this in a text to a friend of mine and she sent me a picture of her child laid out in the middle of the kitchen floor having a full fledge meltdown over who knows what and made sure that I knew that I was not alone. Something about rainy weekends makes kids lose their mind. I went to bed with a good bit of guilt because there were a lot of wasted moments this weekend that I spent trying to be a decent parent. I think we all question our parenting skills from time to time. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Tomorrow is always a new day.

A few short months ago we did a study at church and the author of the book talked about how she taught her child something very easy to do when they were scared or afraid or needed courage. She simply told them to put up all 10 fingers and to give each finger a word "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." It's such a quick and easy task and something a child of any age can learn. I immediately taught it to Colby as soon as we got in the car to leave church that night. He kinda rolled his eyes at me but at the same time I saw him silently counting his fingers in the passenger seat. A few weeks ago I had to take him to the hospital to have some test run. No fear, all is well just precautionary test. He was very nervous because he had no idea what to expect and had already thrown up twice in the waiting room because he was so scared. When they put him in the chair, I saw my baby start counting his fingers. Tears began to slide down my face as I knew in that moment I may mess up so many things, but I got one right.

As I went to bed last night I was tired, I had a lot on my mind and just wanted a good nights sleep, I was awoken to the sound of a little boy screaming "mama I'm about to puke." We have been lucky this far to not have the stomach virus at our house but at 2 o'clock this morning it entered with a vengeance. As soon as the first round was over and I took him back to his bed he started pleading with me to pray so I did. I prayed aloud that God would heal him. I prayed that God would take his pain away and to help him not be sick anymore. When I was finished praying, through his own tears he then asked me to count his fingers with him. So we did. Repeatedly till the second round kicked in and off we went. So I lay here now on the couch at 4:30 in the morning with his head on my lap finally resting asking God for forgiveness where I have failed but thanking him for giving me that study in which to learn that 10 little finger trick to teach my child to trust Him and depend on Him at all times. It may be ten tiny fingers, but oh the power those ten words hold.