Thursday, February 28, 2013

A small request

If I am being honest I would have to admit that many times scrolling through Facebook as I see people asking for prayer sometimes I do stop and whisper a prayer to the Lord and other times I keep scrolling through. Guilty. I believe in the power of prayer And have seen its results firsthand. For the handful of you who read my blog I have a small request. My 82 year old grandfather is having quadruple bypass surgery this morning as I write this. I ask your prayers not only for him but for the doctors and nurses involved. Then I ask you to whisper my grandmother's name Helen in prayer because this process has just started and she is already very tired. At their age a simple task for us is a feat for them so you can only imagine her having to wait on and help him as well as try to sleep in a hospital chair. As to many of us grandparents are a special treat from heaven, mostly because they spoiled us when our parents said no which I am learning firsthand now that I am a parent. It is difficult to watch them age and to watch them suffer. I lost one set of grandparents at a very early age and these are the only ones I have left for which I am very grateful. My family would covet your prayers not only today but in the weeks to come. Thank you in advance.




My grandparents this Christmas with all of their great grandchildren! It is amazing to see what produces when just two people fall in love.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Letting it sink in

One thing I have learned over the years is that everyone deals with things in their own way. What you might find peculiar may be completely normal for me. Some things I tend to take head on and others I push to the far corners of my mind and pretend they didn't happen.

I have to admit I know nothing, and I mean nothing about the Sandy Hook Shootings. It's not that I am insensitive to it, my heart just physically feels like it can't take it. I felt like a kid who wanted to close my eyes and cover my ears and sing as loud as I could when someone started talking about it. I watched zero news coverage, I quickly scrolled through Facebook newsfeed flooded with pictures of babies, MY babies age smiling, and would excuse myself out of a room if it came up. I pushed it as far back in the corner of my brain as it would possibly go.

Today I came home and like any other day I asked Colby how his day was. He preceded to give me the highlights ( recess and who got in the most trouble) and then he said "mom we are doing some drills at school". I said like a fire drill? He said yes mam and the one where the earth shakes and the one where a tornado comes to eat your house. As I was asking him what each drill entailed he said " oh yea we also have a lockdown drill. I know what to do momma if a bad person wants to hurt me. I go and get in my cubby. We were told to be quiet but I just think ill sit there and talk to Jesus". I had to completely leave the room. I finally let it all in, months after the fact. All those babies. The teachers. Complete irrational nonsense. After gaining my composure I walked back into the living room, put my baby in my lap and let him sit there as long as he wanted. I'm so proud that his thought process instantly went to calling on our Lord Jesus Christ in times of trouble. All those moments of feeling failure as a parent subsided because I had managed to teach him the one thing that matters most in this life. My prayer is that he will never forget it.

My heart aches in a special way tonight. A grief I finally allowed myself to feel. To mourn people I never knew. I pray I never know their families sorrow.

Sweet Jesus,
Thank you for loving EVEN me. Thank you that at the sheer whisper of your name I instantly find peace and rest.


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