The Mills Family: What I've learned thus far....

Tomorrow will be my 7th time to celebrate Mother's Day. Being a mom is very fulfilling but extremely hard. I will be the one to say it although the majority of you think it from time to time : I would take a bullet in the face for my child at any given day but at least once a day I imagine hurling him off the Golden Gate Bridge or sticking him upside down on the wall by duct tape. There are things you lose when becoming a mother. For instance the possibility of using the bathroom or showering alone or uninterrupted, sitting on the couch without becoming a human trampoline, SLEEP, your figure (or for those of us who didn't really have one prior to a child everything just travels further south), being able to run in and out of a store quickly without going down the toy aisle and a complete meltdown at the register over some form of candy, carrying on a phone or in person conversation without having to say "hold on a minute... what do you want?!?!?"at least 20 times,and some days your complete sanity. You do gain several things as well: pounds for one, stretch marks that look like the devil himself painted them on, a disability known as momnesia (your memory is never the same), the ability to multitask like nobody's business, the honor of being the only person in your household with the ability to change the toilet paper roll, the title of "mommy" in which is used a million times a day usually followed by "can you get me____" , the knowledge of a doctor who can A. hear the first signs of a cold from a simple sneeze or cough and determine the correct procedure by the color of your child's snot B. the only person capable of mending a scratch or scraped knee with just a kiss and your own spit C. Be able to relate your child's last meal, bowel movement and temperature to a real doctor but can't remember if you unplugged your straightener or the iron that morning(who am I kidding...I don't use an iron I just throw it in the dryer for a few minutes and call it good enough) A sock fairy who invades your home at night and steals all the matches to your socks, and a new job as a taxi driver shuffling from one place to another only you don't get paid.
I will admit I have to stop and remind myself from time to time that children are a blessing from God and to just breathe. I think all mothers do. Most days I just thank God at the end of the day that I kept him and myself alive. But in between all of the panic attacks, breakdowns and calling the kid by all three names (because you know it's about to get serious when that happens) there are those moments that will hit you out of nowhere that make your heart skip a beat and your cup runneth over. I love getting random "I love you momma" or when he asks for an extra hug and kiss. Sometimes when I'm driving he will simply hold out his hand to mine and we hold hands in silence. How when he scores at a game or sings in a program he immediately searches the crowd for my face for reassurance, praise and a smile. Some songs we become a two man band where I play drums and he plays guitar. I'm not allowed to sing though :-/. My favorite would be when he comes in with a flower (or weed) and is so proud he picked if just for me. Sometimes it's the neighbors flowers and he gets a hug while simultaneously getting reprimanded. I've learned not to care that my house is a complete disaster or I have no makeup on when running to the grocery store. That television is the best babysitter you need sometimes no matter how unproductive it is. That Susie Q Jones seems to have all her stuff together with such respectful polite well mannered children while I feel like a walking failure is NOT a direct reflection of my parenting but that Susie is just more medicated than me. I've learned that it is ok to out do your kid at coloring because let's face it coloring is loads of fun.
I do think the biggest thing I have learned from being a mom is a completely new profound respect and love for my own mother. At 31 years of age I am still her child and I still want her when I'm sick or sad. There have been so many moments of realization while disciplining my own child that I made a mental note to myself that I needed to apologize to my mom for something I did 25 years ago! So fellow moms today is our day. Give yourself a pat on the back and don't feel any shame for feeling beaten, overworked, exhausted, unappreciated and like a complete failure. God knew to give this gift to a woman because a man just couldn't handle it! Can I get an Amen. It's bad that all I want for Mother's Day is a nap!
My heart aches for those of you who's mothers are no longer here with you. I pray today you can find joy in memories versus sadness in loss. Happy Mother's Day to each of you! Remember, your doing a great job! Take the day off! (Yea like that's really gonna happen I know but it's fun to imagine right)