Grief Sucks

This is my 11th attempt to sit down and write this blog over the last several years. I don't know if I'll make it to the end this time or if I will walk away from it like I have the last ten times and try again another day. I've not written in three years, and that's mostly because this story has been stuck in my throat, and I can't say anything else until it pours out of me. I just don't know if I have what it takes to tell it. Not the way it deserves, at least. 

Faith, grace, and mercy are core fundamentals of our faith. The funny thing about each is that they can take on new meanings depending on what trial you are facing at the moment. I've walked some long, hard roads in my 42 years of life, but nothing prepared me for this one. 

Grief sucks. That might actually make it as the title of this blog post if I ever finish it. I've wrestled in my spirit more times than I would like to admit lately. Grief becomes etched into our DNA once we walk through it. It takes on all kinds of forms, with anger seeming to linger the longest. I've been angry for a while now. But it's faith, grace, and mercy that brings me back. 

When you're angry, faith is all you have. It isn't merely what you believe in, but it's the thing that keeps you from sinking into unbelief and the only thing that brings you an ounce of peace. It becomes the thing you absolutely can't live without.

 Grace isn't always something that you extend to others - sometimes, you need to extend it to yourself. The day she died, I sat on my front porch for four hours thinking about all the missed opportunities I let slip by because life was so busy, and I thought we had more time. Even though a day didn't go by without speaking, I wondered if she knew how much I loved her. I wonder if she truly knew what her friendship meant to me. I wondered if she even knew I was there towards the end, holding her hand and making her silent promises. 

Mercy. I don't know if I can even unpack this one. Praying for mercy as you watch someone you love suffer is hard. I'm just going to leave that one to sit right there, or I will walk away from this again.

Over the last several years, I've needed her here. Badly needed her here. We could have done this teenager thing together because, let me tell you, it's tough. Instead of wiping each other's tears and being each other's support system, I've sat at her grave and poured my heart out alone. And I've been so mad about it. But even still, I know what faith looks like. She taught me. She walked through one of the hardest things a wife and mother can, and still, her faith knew no boundaries. You had to experience it to fully understand. From the moment of her diagnosis to her death, she only ever exuded faith. Not tears. Not pity. Not sadness. Not dread. Not anger. That's all the things I would have exuded in her shoes. All she ever did was comfort others with a smile on her face and talk about the goodness of God. One of the last things she said to me was, "What would I ever do without you." Now, I am living life without her, and I know the heartache that phrase holds.  

Seeing our kids love each other as deeply as we did brings me a level of peace that I can't possibly explain. It's what she would have dreamed of, too. We always hoped they would be best friends. There isn't anything that those two boys wouldn't do for one another.

I don't know if this blog will ever see the light of day or if it will remain hidden in the depths of my heart. I don't even know if it has a definite point other than that I miss her. Today, I'm thankful for the lessons in faith, grace, and mercy that she taught me at a time when she didn't have to but chose to. She is everything I aspire to be—my sweet Noel. 

How to do Vegas with kids (and not feel like the worst parent ever)

When Jason and I went to Vegas a couple of years ago, one of our initial thoughts, as we looked around and saw people with children, was why in the world would anyone bring their child to Vegas?! But here we are, two years later, carrying a 14-year-old boy with us to what some would call Sin City. I thought I’d take a minute to write down how we managed to take our child to Vegas and not feel like complete and utter failures as parents. I have some budget-friendly tips that I will share at the end. I’m going to start with the positives. I’d be lying if I didn’t also include the negatives  

Pro Tips:

1. I recommend staying at New York, New York. To us, it’s by far the most kid-friendly place on the strip. It’s located in a great spot on the strip and has many activities for kids, including a roller coaster, arcade and a Hershey’s Chocolate store. If you want to see how to stay there on a budget, look for that tip at the end. 

2. Rent a car! Although there are kid-friendly things to do on the strip, Nevada and Arizona are absolutely beautiful states. There aren’t words to describe how breathtakingly gorgeous the mountains and desert are. Take your kids off the strip and show them God‘s beautiful creation. 

Our favorite is Red Rock Canyon, which is a quick 20-minute ride from the strip. The scenery is absolutely stunning, and there are several stops along the way to get out and hike, rock climb and just take it all in. It is also a cheap venture, only costing $15 per vehicle. Don’t pass up the visitors center. It’s very cool.    

Seven Magic Mountains is also a short drive from the strip. Jason was extremely unimpressed, but I thought it was neat. These boulders are much taller than they look. We saw several professional photoshoots while we were there. It’s also free!

It’s not a proper trip to Vegas if you don’t get your photo made in front of the sign. Prepare to be greatly disappointed at how small it is. There are usually people working there that you can tip to take your photo for you. The sign is located at the entrance to the strip. Do not, I repeat, do NOT try to walk there. Your legs and lungs will hate you. It’s much farther than it looks. 

The West Rim of the Grand Canyon is only a two-hour drive from the strip. It is worth it! The drive alone is beautiful. Now I will advise that this isn’t a trip for small kids in my opinion. The Grand Canyon is, in fact, a canyon. There are no railings or safety measures in place to keep someone from going over the edge. My insides did flips the entire time we were there. I was the crazy mom who kept screaming at Colby that he was too close and to come back. I hugged the middle, HARD. The view is indescribable. There are two stops, and you can stay as long as you like at each one. Be prepared that it’s kind of expensive. I believe we paid somewhere around $140 for the three of us. You can also pay to do a glass skywalk, but it’s an additional $23 a person. We opted out of it and honestly didn’t feel like we missed out on anything. There are beware of cattle signs on the road into the canyon, so drive cautiously. We saw several wild cattle and the most beautiful antelope. There is also a Last Stop truck stop on the way. We spent 20 minutes there looking around and shopping. Be sure to grab snacks and drinks for the entire day. It’s called the Last Stop for a reason. You will be starving by the time you get back. 

Side note: Wear tennis shoes to the Grand Canyon. One of us, who will remain nameless, wore sandals and instantly regretted it. Said person may have caused a domestic dispute because they tried to be cute instead of functional. Said person may also be a little salty over the eye roll they received from their spouse. 

 The Hoover Dam is located on the way back from the Grand Canyon and a very short distance from the strip. If you skip the visitor center and park in the open lot, it’s free. You can walk to not only stand in two states at once but also two time zones. You can almost hear Clark Griswald as you view the dam. It’s a must-see! If you were wondering, we didn’t find any dam bait. 

Lake Mead and the Colorado River are gorgeous. You can plan an entire day at Lake Mead to swim, fish or white water raft. We were there during a historic drought. As you can see behind our heads, the water was extremely low. 

3. Take your kids on the strip! It’s a lot of walking, but there is so much to see. 

The M&M store is four stories tall and packed full of neat things to see. The Hershey store is directly across the street. Splurge for the huge s’more. It’s large enough to share. Colby got a legit Hershey’s chocolate milkshake. Although it was delicious, he said his Nana still has it beat. 

Go to Fremont Street. If you are unfamiliar with Fremont, this is what people refer to as “Old Vegas.” There is a certain beauty to Fremont Street at night. There is a light show that begins on the hour every night. You can also zip-line across Fremont. There are people performing on the strip and bands begin to play into the evening hours. There are parking garages and lots that are fairly cheap. Eat at the Heart Attack Grill at your own risk. 

Inside the Venetian is a Madame Tussaud’s. We LOVED the one in Orlando. This one is just okay. There didn’t seem to be as many figures, and the price was triple. There was a 4D Avengers movie, but it wasn’t worth the added cost. If you’ve never been to one, and have the money to splurge, then definitely go. The Venetian also has gondola rides. These are about $90 for three people. I regret not doing it, but the ride itself is only 15 minutes. 

There are plenty of other things to do on the strip that are worth mentioning. There is an excellent aquarium inside of Mandalay Bay. The Mob Museum is located near Fremont Street and is a discounted price if you go after 5 p.m., and Planet Hollywood has a miracle mile full of every shop and store you can think of. Walk into each casino/hotel because they all offer some form of entertainment or beauty. The Bellagio changes its display often and is something to behold. The Caesar Forum shops have a neat virtual gaming station that Colby loved and they have a Cheesecake Factory. Ride the roller coaster at the New York, New York, and visit the arcade there as well. Spend an afternoon at the pool! This was a needed escape for us.

Spend at least one night on the strip. When the sun goes down, everything comes to life. Watch the Bellagio fountains and the Mirage volcano erupt. We aren’t Disney people, but we can relate to the feeling you get when the castle comes to life at night. It’s the same feeling you get when the Eiffel Tower comes alive and The Eye begins to spin. 

When it comes to places to eat, I really only have one solid suggestion. You MUST eat pancakes at Hash House A-Go-Go. This was our second trip to Vegas and it’s the only constant thing that has been delicious. Avoid the casino buffets. They aren’t anything comparable to ours here in Mississippi. We haven’t just loved anywhere that we have eaten on either of our trips other than this one place. We ate in the New York, New York almost every evening and were very pleased. They have almost anything you could want!

Take your kiddos to see a show! There are plenty of kid-friendly shows to see on the strip. We chose MJ Live this time because the Cirque shows didn’t reopen until July. We sang along to every Michael Jackson song. There are enough kid-friendly shows to see one each night you are there. Here is a budget-friendly tip; there is no such thing as a bad seat at a show in Vegas. Buy the nose bleeds. It’s still a great seat!

If you have a moto lover in your family, don’t forget to visit the Las Vegas Harley shop.

Cons:

Ok, so here is the bad news. When visiting Vegas, there is one thing that is absolutely impossible to avoid. If you think I am about to talk about half-naked women, you can see worse at the beach. These women just wear feathers with their bikinis. They didn’t bother me. What did bother me was the overwhelming amount of marijuana that you will smell everywhere you go. Because it is legal in Nevada, there is a pot shop on every corner. The smell is just rancid, and you are consistently walking into a cloud of smoke from someone taking a drag in front of you. If your kid isn’t familiar with the smell before you go, they will be able to spot it from a mile away before you leave. 

There are also many homeless people on the strip. They leave you alone, but some of it is just hard to see. There are also people handing out pamphlets with naughty things on them. They were respectful enough that when they saw we had a kid, they never approached us. 

The only other negative I have is we always struggle to adjust to the time difference. We are wide awake by 6 a.m. and ready for bed by 9 p.m. It doesn’t get dark until a little after 8 p.m., so staying up late to experience Fremont and the strip was hard. No matter how hard we tried to sleep in, our bodies just never quite caught up. Correction, Colby never had a hard time sleeping in. The two adults on the other hand struggled.

Budget-Friendly Tips:

Remember how I said I would give you some budget-friendly tips at the bottom? I have a couple for you. 

1. If you live in Mississippi, sign up for a free MLife Rewards account at the Beau Rivage. Go eat the buffet, swipe your new rewards card and be on your merry way. You do NOT have to gamble in order to have an MLife rewards account. This rewards card has amazing offers for Vegas since almost everything is owned by MGM. This may blow your mind, but other than a small resort fee, we didn’t pay a dime for our rooms on either trip. MLife offers comp stays for several days each month that also come with free play and resort food credit. 

2. I know everyone has an airline preference, but fly Southwest. The difference in price is just phenomenal and the service is even better. If you worry about not having an assigned seat, you can pay an early bird fee of just $25 to board early. We always purchase the early bird and still come out cheaper than any other airline because your checked bag is free. You also can bundle your rental car, but we found booking straight with the company was more inexpensive.

3. There is a Walmart literally two miles from the strip. Go buy some snacks and a few drinks to keep in the room. Everything on the strip is expensive, even a bottle of water. It’s nice to have a few things on hand to keep the cost down. There are ABC stores sprinkled on the strip. They are the cheapest place to buy anything.

My last piece of advice that I want to leave you with is to dress yourself and your children for comfort. Don’t try to be cute in Vegas. Invest in good shoes, and prepare for blisters the size of a dime on your feet. We walked a total of 48 miles in 100-degree heat that week. Don’t let the heat scare you though; it’s a different kind of heat. If you can survive Mississippi summers, Vegas heat is a literal breeze. I never got so hot that I thought I would die. There is no humidity, so even on extremely hot days, it never felt uncomfortable. 

If you made it all the way to the end, thank you for sticking around. We decided several years ago to begin gifting our child with experiences instead of things. I want him to see the world. I only have a few years left to travel with him before he ventures out on his own, so I wish I had started this much earlier in his life. We plan to continue traveling as much as we can. I hope I have solved any preconceived opinions you might have had about traveling to Vegas with kids, and maybe sparked an interest to go and see it for yourself. If you have any additional questions, feel free to ask!

National Lampoon's Orlando Vacation

 

    

    Aren't we having the best time here? Oh wait, it's hard to tell because we're wearing a mask. We also had just exited the roller coaster you see behind us, and Jason was still trying to find his stomach. My goal with this blog is to tell about our vacation story, but not write so much that I lose you after a few paragraphs. I can't make any promises. I have a lot to say. I promise to make you laugh in the process. Cue the intro.

    Background: In 2019, Jason and I started planning a surprise trip for Colby centered around taking him to the 2020 Monster Energy Supercross race in Vegas. For those of you not interested in motocross, this is the Superbowl of motocross. It's a big deal. Ok, you're up to speed. Anywho, we bought the airplane tickets, booked the hotel and spent a dreadful amount on front row tickets to the race. We planned to check him out of school and head to the airport without telling him where we were going. We had it all planned out. Well, you know what happens in 2020. All these plans and dreams burn up in a smoke-filled flame of heartbreak and tears. Sidenote: we lost very little money on this trip. Southwest gave us credit to be used later, minus the Earlybird add-on feature we purchased. The venue (finally) refunded our tickets and the hotel canceled our reservation for us before I ever even had the chance. 

    In late 2020, Monster Energy announced that fans would be allowed at races in 2021, but in a very limited capacity. We looked at the schedule and Vegas was no longer listed. However, nestled in the middle of February was Orlando, home of the infamous mouse. This may shock some of you, but we aren’t mouse people. We’ve never had a desire to visit the mouse. Could I talk them into this? Would they even care to go to visit the mouse? Did I dare even suggest it? We are so ready to travel that I would have flown to the Atlanta airport just to sit awhile and then fly back home. The day the tickets went on sale, I purchased ours at 8:01 a.m. and began planning our trip. We wanted to go several days before the race and explore Orlando, but I refused to go and not experience at least ONE Disney park. I then did what most people do; I asked my Facebook friends where non-mouse people should go in Orlando. The response was overwhelming. We looked into every suggestion and made our choice. So now you're all caught up. Here are my highlights, rookie mistakes, hidden gems and takeaways from Orlando.

1. I'm going to call it what it is. Wearing a mask sucks, but wearing it all day, every day, everywhere you go, sucks worse. There are no points in the day where you can take it off to get a break because there are mask police everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. Unless you are physically shoving something in your mouth, it stays on. What was heartbreaking to us was watching small toddlers getting spanked and yelled at by their parents for taking their masks off or refusing to wear them. I wanted to have a temper tantrum over my mask too, and I am 39 years old. Seeing a two-year-old have a mental breakdown in the middle of the happiest place on earth over being hot and having to wear a mask will hurt your heart. So point number one, if you have small children and are considering Disney with mask rules in place, just wait. I know waiting isn't easy, but this was miserable to watch. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. 

2. Most of you have seen the infamous video of Colby in the airplane simulator. We were a little worried about how he would enjoy his experience on a real plane. He was extremely nervous, and it didn't help that right before we boarded, the fire alarms went off in the airport and we were made to evacuate the building. He did great, and Jason was generous enough to allow him to have the window seat on the way there. Jason took it on the way back, and I got the amazing aisle seat. No elbows were harmed due to no beverages being served. Thanks, COVID. 

See, he smiles. 

3. We decided to stay in Disney Springs instead of on an actual Disney property. I got an amazing rate on a suite at the Doubletree Suites by Hilton at Disney Springs. It was within walking distance, .08 of a mile, from Disney Springs. The walk wasn't the worst; your legs were mostly jello at the end of the day anyways. I give this property a 10/10. They generally offer shuttle services as well but were suspended due to COVID. We walked to Disney Springs almost every day for either lunch or dinner. This is where I made a rookie mistake. I had been told repeatedly to use the Disney app to book my dining. I didn't realize I needed to do that for Disney Springs as well. Almost everything was already booked when we got there. I was able to luck up on Planet Hollywood and someone canceled (thank you) at T-Rex, but sadly I didn't get to introduce Colby to the volcano cake at Rainforest Cafe.  

4. We decided for our first free day to go to Animal Kingdom. It seemed like the best fit for us, and we were correct. We LOVED it. The lines were long, but you were constantly moving, so you never felt like you were waiting. The boys were not fans of the wait time for the Avatar Flight of Passage but were singing a new tune once they got off the ride. It was their favorite thing of the day. Mine would be the safari, and a close second would be Jason's reaction to the roller coaster when he realized it was about to go backward. This sparked the conversation of do we want to come back and experience it all. The jury is still out, and if we do, it will be during a non-mask mandate time. 

Jason, don't kill me. I had to. I'm not sorry about it either. 

5. Another suggestion sent to us was Icon Park. After looking into it, we decided to tour the Titanic museum, Madame Tussauds wax museum, and the Orlando aquarium. I won't talk your ear off about these, but I will say we had the time of our lives at the wax museum. We had extremely low expectations for it and ended up having a blast. The aquarium was kind of a bust. It took all of 15 minutes to tour. We enjoyed the Titanic museum and highly recommend it. 

6. One evening, we went to the Universal Citywalk for dinner. It was neat, but I will have to say Disney Springs was much better. We were also so tired from Animal Kingdom that this part of the trip is a blur. After seeing the rides at Universal, we definitely plan to go back. We were kinda kicking ourselves that we didn't add an additional day for it. I am hearing your virtual I told you so's. 

Our physical batteries were at 2%.

7. I can't talk about our trip without discussing why we were there in the first place. We purchased fan fest tickets so that Colby could get an up-close and personal encounter with all of his favorite riders. The meet and greets were canceled due to COVID, but you could still interact with the riders through their tents. Some paid us attention, and others didn't, but I guess that is expected with any celebrity. On a serious note, watching my kid have the best day of his entire life was more than I could have ever expected. All-day long, I watched his face, reactions, and happiness rather than anything else around me. Two years of anticipation had built up to this moment. This was our magical ending. Instead of a castle that lit up and sang, ours was a finish line jump with pyrotechnics and metal music. Masks aside, it was perfect. The cherry on top of a massive cake was Colby's favorite rider won the race. I captured his reaction and am so glad that I did. 

This was probably the highlight of Jason's paternal experience. 

I mean, are you crying, or is it just me?

Just two proud yet extremely cold parents. 

8. I swear this is the last point, or at least I think it is. Since we had the airline tickets already paid for, we struggled on whether to Uber or rent a car. We chose Uber, and let me just tell you why it is the best thing we could have done. In total, we paid $243 in Uber fees. I know that is a lot, but the cost to rent a car for five days was $200. EVERYWHERE we went charged at least $20 to park, including our hotel. We came out much cheaper and probably a lot less stressed, Ubering. We only had one Uber driver, who only spoke broken English, get lost taking us to the race. Jason had to hand-motion him through Google maps to get us to the right place. We all needed a nerve pill after that ride. Other than that, we had great experiences. We even had a lady play KLove on our ride home after the race. I felt it was God's way of saying, you're welcome. 

We walked 32 miles in five days. Two of those days were spent mainly in an airport. 2021 will be a year of travel for us, so stay tuned to our next adventure. I talked way more than I planned to, but I hope you stuck around until the end.