Sunday, August 19, 2012

I know right!

I have several different verses on post its around my desk but there is one directly in my line of view at all times! I find myself having to look at it daily, sometimes hourly to remind me that worrying about the uncontrollable is pointless.

"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."    Matthew 6:34

Why stress and worry about things we do not know, things unforeseen, things we make bigger in our heads than what they really are, things that we can't change even though we desperately want too, things that are not in OUR plans, or things that simply frighten us? What does that accomplish? I will tell you what it accomplishes..... it steals and robs you of TODAY'S joy! Ever went through a rough day where you were stressing something coming up in your life and before you went to bed realized you let the entire day go by without enjoying one breath you took that day? I am guilty of this. It is the very reason I need the verse with me at all times. Like the verse says, today brings enough trouble of its own so why combine that with stressing about the uncontrollable?

 Easier said than done, I promise I know that, but for those of you who are worry warts, I challenge you to write this verse down, put it somewhere where you can see it at all times, and the moment you start to feel that anxiety, read it, re read it, chant it aloud, speak it to Jesus and let it go! Remember you will never get a minute of your life back, no do-overs, no coulda woulda shoulda's.... so try to find your joy even in the midst of chaos and only dwell on one day at a time. Remember that Jesus holds our tomorrows and quite frankly He doesn't need our help. He has got this. Everything we go through is a lesson learned, faith renewed and we come out a changed person. If we didn't have these things to happen and life just always went our way, what kind of people would we be? The word FAITH wouldn't need to exist.

Hope you are having a great day. I'd love to see a picture of your verse if you choose to write it down. Remember to put it somewhere that is easily accessible. Aren't you thankful for scriptures like this? I know I surely am!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The BEST WORST day of my life

Well, the time finally came. I knew it was coming, and knew that I would be sad but often (silently of course) mocked people who seemed so distraught about their children starting school. I might have even rolled my eyes at a few people carrying on about how it was heartbreaking and the hardest thing they have ever done. I also use to do the same thing to the mother in walmart who had a child out of control thinking "She needs to get it together and spank that kid" until I became that mother and left walmart (and a full buggy sitting in the aisle) sobbing with a child having a complete meltdown in tow. I should have learned from this right? I remember the day it hit me.....like a ton of bricks. It was this day... in walmart coincidentally....

We were buying school supplies and he got to pick out his own backpack. The second he put it on I felt my throat start to close up, pools of wet stuff starting to gather in my eyes and the sudden urge to grab him up and give him the biggest hug I had ever given him. The complete and utter sadness that began to set in was completely overwhelming and also very surprising. I do consider myself an emotional person but only usually to sick or dying children. Romantic movies, weddings, pet commercials etc... usually have me imagining holding my finger down my throat during overly mushy parts. I did cry once at a peanut butter commercial where the kid fixed his mom who was staying up late to study a sandwich..... ok I have gotten off subject. Anywho I didn't expect to feel this depth of sadness.

The days that followed only seemed to get worse. His last days at his daycare that he has been at since he was 6 months old were coming to an end. I was struggling with this more than the thought of him starting school. His last three days there I cried when I dropped him off and again when I picked him up. It was not only closing a chapter in his life but mine also.

 Colby and Mia on his last day.
(gotta love the kid in the backgrounds face)
 The teachers he loved the most were Mia, Kerry and Raimey. They loved him too despite his tendency to cause complete and utter chaos.  
Saying goodbye to her was the hardest. Mrs. Marty had helped raise my child for almost 6 years. She spent more time with him on most days than I got too. She loves every one of her children at her daycare with her whole heart and always treated me as well as him with the utmost respect. I will never forget Colby had just turned 2 and came home one day and recited the entire pledge of allegiance. Mrs. Marty taught her kids what it truly meant to be an American and to always take pride in their country, their flag and their freedom. The last day was brutal for me, especially when Colby finally realized he wasn't ever going back there again. He was most concerned that they would miss him too much and cry all day.

Then the big day came. Colby has never jumped out of bed that easily before. After breakfast, packing his lunch and brushing his teeth he was MORE than ready to hurry up and go.


He was patient enough to let me get a few pictures. 
 Jason wasn't emotional in the least. He was so excited for him he said he couldn't be sad.
 While I still had eye makeup on....

The moment where I had to just breathe. Seeing his desk with his name on it made it so real to me. He was no longer my baby but my little man all grown up. Once we walked him to his classroom, got his supplies and backpack stored away, we spent some time talking and checking out his room again. I noticed a lot of the parents were already leaving. I wasn't ready but I knew I couldn't stay all day. Jason finally gave me that look as in "bite the bullet it's time to go." Jason leaned down and gave him a kiss and a strict order to mind his teacher. I wasn't sure if he would give me a kiss or not but as I knelt down he gave me a very excited yet nervous hug and kiss and he didn't care if anyone saw him. It is a moment I will never forget. I held it together until we got outside. Once in the car, I let the tears come and accepted our new adventure. I was impatiently waiting all day to pick him up and hear all about his first day. I mostly got stories about recess and lunch (which seems to be a recurring theme each day) but he did tell me a few things he learned. The second day I had to drop him off instead of walking him in. He gave me a swift kiss on the cheek, jumped out of the car and not once did he look back at me. That was a rough drive to work!

We are now in week 2 of kindergarten and already he has learned how to spell red, blue, yellow, green and orange. He can also LEGIBLY write his letters, name and numbers as well as some problem solving and rhyming. I am so impressed with how much he has learned in 7 short days. It didn't take him too long to learn that big school wasn't as fun as he thought it was going to be but each morning he is still as excited as the first to go.

Now that the sadness has subsided, I am very excited for what is in store for Colby! To all of you who have went through this already, I humbly apologize for thinking you were absurd and a basket case. For those of you who haven't yet, cherish every single day that your child is small. In the blink of an eye they will be grown.